Humor :: The Marriage Interpreter (No. 2)

Ted Denishawn's legs in various dance positions

Note that none of these body parts are the baby-maker. [NYPL Digital Collection]

Read The Marriage Interpreter (No. 1) here.

Bluebird: So… M. thinks you should do the Running Man, and A—— was wondering if you hit yourself in the baby-maker trying to do “the sprinkler.”

(The Husband attempts half-hearted “running-man.”)

Bluebird: You need to pick up your knees more.

(The Husband complies. Something pops. Loudly.)

The Husband: OW. I’m tired. In sign language today, we went to a lecture that was all in sign language. Wait. Which part of the body is the baby-maker?

(Bluebird gestures toward the part. Parts.)

The Husband: No, I did not hit myself in the baby-maker. I hurt my neck doing “the sprinkler” and now my knee. . . (gestures to knee). Look, I’m tired. I told you about the lecture. All in sign language.

Bluebird: Mark thinks—

The Husband: (Suddenly alert.) Which Mark?

Bluebird: This is a Mark you haven’t met. He thinks you need to “get footloose.”

The Husband: What I need to get is a nap. (Starts limping towards hallway.)

Bluebird: (Calling after him.) I can’t tell them any of this. This isn’t very interesting.

(The Husband swivels around and signs something with his left hand.)

Bluebird: Well, I certainly can’t tell them that.

The Husband: Tell them it means baby-maker.