The Marriage Interpreter [No. 45]




Awareness About Awareness



THE HUSBAND is reading on the couch.

The Husband: (Looking up.) You know—

Bluebird: —no I don’t.

The Husband: I want to create ribbons you can pin on your shirt.

Bluebird: Ribbons for what?

The Husband: For awareness.

Bluebird: (Reluctantly). Okay?

The Husband: An awareness pin to help people to be aware of awareness.

Bluebird: You—

The Husband: Don’t you dare—

Bluebird: You hurt me like the world hurts God.

The Husband: —quote Sylvia Plath. Dammit. I have a new idea for an awareness pin.

Bluebird: Mmm?

The Husband: For people who are married to people who quote Sylvia Plath. Our ribbon will be sherbet orange. We’re going to read a lot of rhyming doggerel, lady. A lot.


***


THE HUSBAND is standing outside of Bluebird’s office, just out of sight.

The Husband: I am like dandruff— silent but deadly!





Deadly Husband



THE HUSBAND is watching Russian historical documentaries in Russian on YouTube.

The Husband: (Smiling happily at his laptop screen.) You can find anything on YouTube. If you want to learn how to make a knuckle sandwich, all you have to do is type in “knuckle sandwich” and a YouTube video will teach you how to make one.

Bluebird: ???


***


THE HUSBAND is making dinner.

The Husband: I like the navy sweater you got me from Goodwill. It matches the blue in my hair.





Blue Hair Husband



DON’T WORRY— HE’S A STUNT-HUSBAND

    The Marriage Interpreter [No. 7] — There’s no such thing as a mute point, Husband.

    The Great Ska Compromise of 2004 — The border in question was a small, but important territory.

    The Marriage Interpreter [No. 2] — Which part of the body is the babymaker?




About Courtenay Bluebird

Courtenay Bluebird is the creator of Bluebird Blvd. and The Bluebird B-Side. She is a published writer, career journalist, and professional photographer who likes books and sweets. She laughs loudly and sincerely both in public and in private.
Bookmark the permalink.

One Comment

  1. Your guy cracks me up. I’m so glad you document these moments. And I love the photos and captions you’ve added to this set!

Comments are closed

  • More

    The Marriage Interpreter [No. 50]
    [Super-Secret Friday Night 5-Minute Dance Party] Third Uncle
    Mash Note Dept.:  Diana Vreeland
    [5-Minute Dance Party] Tu vuò fà l'americano
    Los Pobrecitos Metamorphoses Playing H-O-R-S-E