I did not know when I married The Husband that his hobby was studying the universe. And I did not know that would include having to listen to and/or watch in passing a sleek-packaged array of programs about every element of the science of the universe. But I now know I do not understand the following: astronomy, astrometry, astrophysics, astronautics, astrochemistry, aerospace engineering, spectroscopy, cosmography, cosmology, and basic geography. Read on, Reader!
If The Husband is correct, Gertrude Stein said a lot of things I’ve never heard before. Apparently. Read on, Reader!
A few notes about my marriage to The Husband ten years ago. Read on, Reader!
The Husband: If a giant bear fought a giant shark in space, who would win? Read on, Reader!
Bluebird: Is any of this true? Read on, Reader!
The Husband is studying philosophy this summer. Here are a few moments that reflect his, um, current state of being. Read on, Reader!
The Husband: In water. And (translating in his head)— that they are very pretty swimmer men. Read on, Reader!
The Husband: I want to save this karma for something important. Like not getting hit with a trombone in a tight orchestra pit. Someone could say, “What happened? How’d you get that injury?” And then I can say, “Which do you mean— my eye, or the back of my head?” (Mimes trombone player sliding the outer slide out and then in— WAA-Waaaa!) That’s what I want to save my karma for. For not… that happening. Excuse me. I think I have confused myself. Read on, Reader!
The HUSBAND is SINGING as he shaves— “Deer antlers and a CIVIL WAR BUGLE candelabra! Sans CANDLE!” Read on, Reader!
“I got the stuff to do the thing with the stuff that… push it. Glue? Micronesia.” Read on, Reader!
The Husband will be turning forty-mumble today. The day will start with him jumping on the bed, and then— Read on, Reader!
BRRRRRRRRZZZZZAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRP! Read on, Reader!