Because this word should be in the dictionary— spellzerker

 
 
 
2001-a-space-odyssey
 


I'm sorry, but I can't let you spell your name with the letter a, Dave.


 
 
 

spellzerker

    ˈspel -ˈsərk, -ˈzərk; -ər   adv.    1.  When the spellcheck feature on a program pulls a nutty and starts counting every English word as misspelled using the algorithm for the Saami languages without notice, making one doubt one’s native ability to spell one’s own name.  2.  When one cannot spell a word, and goes a little wild trying to imagine what letters that word contains: Ralph stayed up late last night typing a letter to his Aunty Gee because his spellcheck went spellzerker and started counting any word with the letter “a” in it as misspelled.
     
     

    See Also:   De•lu•sion of Grand De•corthes•a•rude Krak•a•tau! 
     
     

    {Origin: The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}

 
 

 
 
 

Library Appeal , 1973
 
 
 
 

IMAGE CREDIT: Screenshot from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Original creator: Stanley Kubrick. Screenshot creator: Unknown.

 

The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

 
 
 
 

Because this word should be in the dictionary— The Hokey Pokey Argument

 
 
 

 

Shaking it all about will not fix a naturally weak Hokey Pokey Argument.


 
 

Hokey  Pokey  Argument

ˌhō-kē-ˈpō-kē ˈär-gyə-mənt
 
 
n. phrase   1.  A poorly reasoned argument based on the idea of proximity: I’m already at the grocery store (right foot in), and the ice cream is right there (left foot in), so I’ll buy a pint even though I’m lactose intolerant and trying to lose ten pounds (aaaaaand shake it all about).
 
 
{Origin:  The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS!}
 
 

See also:  aph•or•is•m • ov•er•load and chick•en • dance • side•step•ping

 
 

Library Appeal , 1973
 
 

The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
 
 
Or check out a gorgeous contemporary update of the real hokey pokey:
 
 


 
 

Hokey Pokey from The Art of Dance Studio on Vimeo.

The Bluebird Dictionary — thrift shop karma

 
 
 
Enid Collins Pavan III handbag— Bluebird Blvd.
 

A person with particularly good thrift shop karma might find a one-of-a-kind Enid Collins purse or an unused harpoon still in its packaging.


 
 

thrift  shop  karma

ˈthrift ˈshäp ˈkär-mə also ˈkər-
 
 
n. phrase   1.  A secular belief system that what comes around, goes around, especially in the case of thrift shops.  2.  The shorthand for a person who donates, and purchase items, from a thrift shop with great alacrity:  Ralph’s former girlfriend had the most amazing thrift shop karma. Once, after donating a box of sweaters, she went into the thrift shop and found an original Enid Collins purse in mint condition. For three dollars.
 
 
{Origin:  The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}
 
 

See also:  Temp•or•ar•y Used Book•store Blind•ness

 
 

Library Appeal , 1973
 
 

The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

 

Because this word should be in the dictionary— Vacation Preparation Jamais Vu

 
 
 

McCall Homemaking Cover

Vacation Preparation Jamais Vu can strike the most seasoned travelers at any time during the pre-vacation preparations.


 
 
 

Vacation Preparation Jamais Vu

vā-ˈkā-shən, və- ˌpre-pə-ˈrā-shən ˌzhȧ-ˌme-ˈvu̅e̅, ˌjä-ˌmā-ˈvü
 

n. phrase   1. The strong sense that you have no idea how to pack your bags and put yourself on a plane to get to the destination of your vacation even though you have been on vacation before:  When Ralph’s well-traveled Aunt Verna was going to Botswana, she had at least one day of Vacation Preparation Jamais Vu where she looked at her open suitcase, blanked out, and woke up later that day sitting on the couch watching a weepy film while eating fistfuls of pretzels.
 

{Origin:  The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}
 

See also:  Sam•son•ite Piñ•ata

 
 
 

Library Appeal , 1973
 
 

The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Because this word should be in the dictionary— Delusion of Grand Decor

 
 
 

Poland Nieborów Palace 008

A Delusion of Grand Decor begins when you watch a home improvement show and imagine you can do this—


 
 
 

 

—but your brain flails into this territory.

 
 
 

Delusion of Grand Decor

di-ˈlü-zhən  əv, before consonants also ə; ˈəv, ˈäv  ˈgrand  dā-ˈkȯr, di-ˈ; ˈde-ˌkȯr, ˈdā-ˌ
 

n. phrase   1. The strong belief that if you watch just the right amount of home decor television that you, too, can learn how to create magic within four walls. 2. A moment where one decides to redecorate an entire room based on a single viewing of This Old House: When Ralph moved into his current abode, the first thing he did was watch seven hours of home decorating shows. He started to knock out a wall while in the midst of a full Delusion of Grand Decor when his friend Stew pointed out that he had removed part of a load-bearing structure that was keeping the roof on top of the house instead of inside of it.
 

{Origin:  The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}
 

See also:  Craft Proj•ect Chic•an•ery;  Glue Gun Grand•ios•it•y;  Norm Abram Hyp•nosis
 
 

Library Appeal , 1973
 
 

The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

 

Because this word should be in the dictionary— The Boodley-Bip-Bop Consequence

 
 
 

Stadsbeelden klederdracht

 
 
 

You tell the cleaners extra starch on my hats, or I'm going to have cause to go Boodley-Bip-Bop at that guy. You hear me?!?


 
 

The Boodley-Bip-Bop Consequence

ˈbü-dəlē ˈbip ˈbäp  ˈkän(t)-sə-ˌkwen(t)s, -kwən(t)s
 
 
n. phrase  The moment where the subconscious mind realizes that some strange event has gone too far, and rebels by telling the mouth to jazz scat sing as a warning to all offending parties to take one step backward :  All the kids knew that when Meena, Ralph’s mom, reached her limit with the children that she’d start jazz scat singing. At the very worst, they would suffer The Boodley-Bip-Bop Consequence of having to hear Meena’s terrible voice booping and beeping all afternoon. If you did anything worse, she’d give you a swat with her sandal.
 
 

{Origin:  The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}
 

SEE ALSO: snap•click•doneIn•volun•tary Kaf•oo•ey Re•sponseThes•a•rude
 
 

Library Appeal , 1973
 
 
The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Because this word should be in the dictionary— Involuntary Kafooey Response

 
 
 

Ed E. Ford, comedian, at the Tivoli Theatre, Sydney, ca. 1914 / photographer unknown

 

The Involuntary Kafooey Response pictured above is the result of a anomalous genetic quirk interacting with a single-instance of site specific absurdity. (AKA, aomeone is making up a bunch of baloney.)


 
 
 

Involuntary  Kafooey  Response

(ˌ)in-ˈvä-lən-ˌter-ē, -ˌte-rē ˈka-ˈfü-ē  ri-ˈspän(t)s

n. phrase   1. A spontaneous reaction to information or stimuli that is presented as fact,  but is most likely fiction.  2. The guffaw, shrug, or eye-roll when presented with seemingly false data.:  Ralph’s Aunt Verna pulled a muscle in her neck on the day her sister claimed to wear a size six.  Verna’s Involuntary Kafooey Response to her sister’s blatant falsehood landed Verna in the emergency room.  The doctor told Verna to put some liniment on her neck and to try not to think about her size twelve sister to avoid further injury.
 
 

{Origin:  The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}
 

See also:  The Hell You Say!;  Con•flu•ence of Hoop•te•doot•le;  Strong  Ab•surd•it•y  Re•flex
 
 

Library Appeal , 1973
 
 

The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

 

Because this word should be in the dictionary— glazedruff

 
 
 

StateLibQld 1 198311 Maxam Bakeo advertisement, 1951

 
 
 

Oh, dear! All that glazedruff on your brand new sweater! You're a mess, son!


 

glazedruff

 
ˈglāz-drəf  n.  1. A coating of shimmering, sticky-as-glue glaze clumped in the hair and the clothing of one who wolfs down a glazed donut.   2. The fine-to-medium spray of glaze misting from the open mouth of one who simultaneously eats a glazed donut and talks at his/her victims.:  Ralph’s greatest pleasure was driving and cramming a glazed stick from Dingbats Donuts into his gob every day.  On Monday,  Ralph’s lips spritzed a thick mist of sticky sucrose glazedruff all over the steering wheel as he practiced his presentation to the board—  modern life at its finest.
 
{Origin: The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}
 

See also: Bos•ton Crème Back•fire; Lit•tle Deb•bie Dow•ner
 

 
 
Library Appeal , 1973
 
 
 
 

 
THIS POST has been brought to you by GUEST BLOGGER BRIAN WESTBYE!
 
BRIAN WESTBYE is a corporate warrior and a cultural dilettante. After following a path of desultory 9-5 expectations, he had a mid-life epiphany (at age 26) and embarked on a path of writing. He has been a music critic, an op-ed scribe, a commercial copywriter, a travel writer, a blogger and a short-story writer, among many other incarnations. World Domination will follow.
 

More entries from  A Bluebird Dictionary?  Sure, friend!
The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

 

Because this word should be in the dictionary— funkbooger

 
 

Anatomy class in the Galt School of Nursing
 


Class, funkbooger is highly contagious. Watch out!

 
 

 

funkbooger

ˈfəŋkˈbu̇-gər, ˈbü- n.   1. A state of crabbiness that carries the high possibility of contagion. adj. 2.This condition, lasting less than twenty-three hours, may or many not include non sequiturs, wheeling arm gestures, lightweight insults, whining (whinging), scowling, and the wearing of old black t-shirts: Ralph was perfectly fine until the bank teller was rude. Within minutes of leaving the bank, Ralph developed an eye twitch followed by a desire to shout at jaywalkers. He stopped being a funkbooger after he went home and made himself a snack of almond butter on toast.
 
 
{Origin: The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}
 
 

See Also:   Dou•ble• Bummed 

 
 
Library Appeal , 1973
 
 

Want to read more entries from  A Bluebird Dictionary?  Easy peasy, Mac and Cheesy!

 
 

The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

 
 

Because this word should be in the dictionary— thesaurude

 
 
 
PICTORIAL REVIEW
 
 
 

And my mother says? People who email thesaurudes never, ever get dessert!


 
 

thesaurude

 
ˈthi-ˈsȯ-ˈrüd  n. and adj.    An email consisting of a random, headache-causing selection of words that has been designed to slip past your spam filter like a trojan horse filled with useless language:  Ralph’s neighbor Bill received the following thesaurude email—  Hello Cummerbund Friend!  It’s the pleasure of my honorific entitlement to flourish you the full brigand of following offer!  I bring the you peace with special prizes on all watches of the Rolodex brand!  Spatial offer!  Acting now, yes?  He tried to decipher it.  At least that’s what he told the doctor on call when he came out of his coma three weeks later.
 
 
{Origin: The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}

See Also:   Dic•tion•ary• Dumb• Bomb 

 
 
Library Appeal , 1973
 
 

Want to read more entries from  A Bluebird Dictionary?  You are lovely! Yes, indeedy!

 
 

The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

 
 

Because this word should be in the dictionary— snapclickdone

 
 

A lion tamer at Bertram Mills Touring Circus, Ascot

 
 

If the lion tamer tries to juggle for the first time while training her pride of lions, you will know she has entered a dangerous state of snapclickdone.


 
 

snapclickdone

ˈsnap-ˈklik-ˈdən  n. phrase   1. The rare confluence of overconfidence combined with a complicated and unfamiliar task requiring much more capability and time than the person, or persons, have allotted.  2. A spectacular occurrence of the aforementioned overconfidence combined with any complicated task, and the strong possibility of a case the two combined causing explosive, or hilarious, results.  3. A form of hysteria that can come on suddenly, especially for the overworked and the overworking person or persons: Ralph had been baking cupcakes for his sister’s bake sale for sixteen hours when he decided to make 4,000 lace cookies on top of the 14 dozen double layer cupcakes he had not yet finished. The hypnotic state of snapclickdone almost caused him to burn all of the baked goods. Ralph salvaged his cupcakes, but did wake up twelve hours later on the couch with his own head slathered in frosting, unsure as to how he got there.
 
 
{Origin: The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}

See Also:   Re•al•i•ty Check•mate 

 
 
Library Appeal , 1973
 
 

Want to read more entries from  A Bluebird Dictionary?  Just up these stairs and to the right! There you go!

 
 

The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

 
 

Because this word should be in the dictionary— Temporary Used Bookstore Blindness

 
 
Collecting books for readers in the reserve stacks, 1964
 

The early stages of Temporary Used Bookstore Blindness can be quite innocuous. Be careful.

 
 

Temporary Used Bookstore Blindness

 
ˈtem-pə-ˌrer-ē ˈyüzd ˈbu̇k-stȯr ˈblīnd-nəs  n. phrase    1. A condition in which a book lover and patron becomes overwhelmed by a used bookstore’s cornucopia of books and periodicals, then proceeds to try to buy everything within sight.  2. A conditional situation in which a bibliophile engages in the shopping equivalent of “highway hypnosis,” and comes to outside of a bookstore with an armload of purchases: 
 
Ralph remembered entering Stinky’s Fine Emporium of Antiquarian Books And Bubble Gum Cigars at two o’clock.  Four hours later he found himself standing on the sidewalk with two bags of back issues of Esquire Magazine from the 1960s in his hands, a bubble gum cigar chomped between his teeth, and no idea how he got there.  It was a clear case of Temporary Used Bookstore Blindness.
 
{Origin: The Absconditam Files de pubis ARCANUS! of the steppes of Northern Bluebirdistan}
 
See Also:   An•tique Book• In•tox•i•cation 
 
 

Library Appeal , 1973
 

Want to read more entries from  A Bluebird Dictionary?  Right this way!  Watch your step!
 
 
 

The pronunciation key for this word was provided by the expert guidance of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.